Resting...

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

I have been so tired for so long… but I am finally resting in His love. Liberation has come to me! Paid for by the blood of my Savior. I understand at forty what I have been upside down about all these long, lonely years. I get it! It really isn’t about me at all…only about Him. He loves me because of who He is. I can do nothing to extinguish that love and I can do nothing to earn it. He loves me absolutely. This is the good news of the gospel I have been searching for. I have been lost inside the maze of feeling unworthy of His love and consequently have not accepted love well from any other source either. I have wanted so badly to please Him and everyone else. I have done things inside out and backwards as a result. I have tried to earn that love from everyone. If I was just good enough, then…Guess what? It doesn’t work. I am so utterly imperfect. We all fall short of the glory of God; all of us. What an incredible relief to me. It is okay that I am imperfect for the first time in my life, that I sin, that I make mistakes. He has covered me with His love. I am justified through Him.

I now know that all love originates in Him. If you love me, it is a gift from Him. If I love you, it is a gift from Him as well. When I don’t love, it is about me, not the other person. When I am not loved, it is about the other person and not me.
“I was blind, but now I see.” I literally feel like blinders have been removed from my eyes and my Savior is tangible and real to me in a way that He never was before. His love has not increased for me. I just can see Him more clearly. My desire to learn of Him is so I can better know who He is and celebrate Him in my life through love. This must be why people shout praises unto Him. I gave Him my sins, sorrow, and burdens. He took them willingly and in return gave me the peace that passeth all understanding. What an incredibly wonderful exchange!


All of this came about because I have a friend who asked hard questions of me that I am not sure he knows the answers to. How grateful I am to walk this path with people who aren’t afraid to wonder at it all and who,though imperfect, manifest His light through their hands. I am full of joy as I marvel at the beauty of His greatest creations; us! Thank you to my friend...when it is all said and done, nothing will ever be as big as the gift that you gave to me.