I Turn...

Locked
inside
where
truth
sometimes
hides
I turn
and
I am free
to explore
my beliefs
and yearn
and learn
and continue
on this path
of imperfection
change occurs
but some truth
remains
I turn
I do not
casually
give away
what has been given
to me
by God
I do not
deny
His love
His voice
His hands
I turn
and see that the way
to Him
at times
is as clear
as mud
and I swim through it
upstream
slowly
laboriously
I pause
and
I turn
away
and float
down river
briefly
delighting
in the apparent
ease of it all
I turn
and
I wonder
why it is difficult
yet
I turn again
and
still I swim
and search
reaching,
naked
and
vulnerable
as a baby
and
I look
on my right side
and He is there
I look
on my left side
and He is there
He is before my face
leading
guiding
loving
me
through
the mazes
of contradiction
I have created
He sees me
wholly
in my imperfection
and loves me still
And so I turn…