At-one-ment

As I have been pondering the atonement these passed few days, I have been delighted to feel the sweet relief that comes from the realization that I am forgiven because of who He is, not because of who I am. And not to diminish my worth because I have caught glimpses of how He sees me and what my true potential is as a daughter of God. There is a pressure, though, when I think that the atonement has something to do with me. When I think I can somehow climb out the hole by myself and claw my way to the top...like He will meet me there but only if I am good enough. How erroneous on my part! He climbs into the hole and boosts me up out of it. I don't need to claw my way out...only let go and allow Him to change my heart which then changes my perspective and allows me to more freely love.

I have spent many hours pondering truths and falsehoods over the passed two weeks. I have thought deeply about what I believe and what I stand for and I have been asked really tough questions. I realized more about my weaknesses then I ever cared to know, but I also realized which of my beliefs are steady and which are precariously positioned on a sandy foundation.

What I discovered is what I already knew, out of all the relationships I have in the world, my greatest one is with my Savior. All the good that I can give comes from that one relationship. When I falter in that relationship, I falter in every relationship. Conversely, when I really love Him, I cannot help but love others around me...so if I am faltering in my relationship with someone here, I need to strengthen my relationship with Him.

My vision of myself is so much clearer when I remember how He sees me and what I am worth, again not because of my gifts or talents, but because I am part of the divine...justified through my Redeemer.

The peace that comes from this knowledge cannot be compared with any earthly, temporal feeling that comes through my body. It transcends the body and speaks without words to the part of me that can hear the truth regardless of what the outside world is whispering in my ear.

I am full of gratitude for my Savior and the love He has for me and for the lengths He was and is willing to go for me.

May I learn to be more like Him...