The Dream

Come with me
I am
taking you
for a ride
through
twists
and turns
of truths
half hidden
waiting to be
dislodged
and discovered
the road
winds,
wild
with underbrush
I laugh,
you place a flower
in my unruly hair
blinded
in parts
the path
is obscure
and
dark
I drag you
along
tripping
over your
pessimism
we stumble
and land
in a heap
laughing
at the absurdity
of it all
gathering
renewed strength
we
tiptoe
together holding hands
then
burst into a full sprint
the path
ends…
a deep pool
of still water
invites us in-
we enter her soul
and
drown...

I Turn...

Locked
inside
where
truth
sometimes
hides
I turn
and
I am free
to explore
my beliefs
and yearn
and learn
and continue
on this path
of imperfection
change occurs
but some truth
remains
I turn
I do not
casually
give away
what has been given
to me
by God
I do not
deny
His love
His voice
His hands
I turn
and see that the way
to Him
at times
is as clear
as mud
and I swim through it
upstream
slowly
laboriously
I pause
and
I turn
away
and float
down river
briefly
delighting
in the apparent
ease of it all
I turn
and
I wonder
why it is difficult
yet
I turn again
and
still I swim
and search
reaching,
naked
and
vulnerable
as a baby
and
I look
on my right side
and He is there
I look
on my left side
and He is there
He is before my face
leading
guiding
loving
me
through
the mazes
of contradiction
I have created
He sees me
wholly
in my imperfection
and loves me still
And so I turn…

let us...

let's not say goodbye
or until later
or anything
at all
let's have the silence
speak the truth
in a whisper
instead
let's lean in close
and hear it
reverberate
off the rocks
and crash down
violently
against
itself
let's look away
as it fragments
into a million pieces
and tell ourselves
there is no other way
let's admire
the beauty
before the destruction
and close our hearts
to the cries
and maybe
just maybe
light will burst forth
out of the darkness
and we will again
see...

Put your hands on me

Your words caress me
Balm to my weathered soul
There is fire in your touch
That I cannot control

Dancing with you
In rhythm in my mind
So close to heaven
You’re all I want to find

Chorus:
Put your hands on me
Take me where I want to go
Put your hands on me
But please take it slow
Put your hands on me
Offer that sweet release
Escape to heights unknown
and taste that exquisite peace

There is an oasis
Far away from here
Where only bliss exists
And there are no more tears

There is a space
Between your world and mine
Where together we soar
And touch the divine

Chorus

But how do we get there
How do we stay?
How do I reach for you
and let them fade away?
How do we get there
and cross that divide?
let go of the fear
and lay our trouble aside?


Chorus

At-one-ment

As I have been pondering the atonement these passed few days, I have been delighted to feel the sweet relief that comes from the realization that I am forgiven because of who He is, not because of who I am. And not to diminish my worth because I have caught glimpses of how He sees me and what my true potential is as a daughter of God. There is a pressure, though, when I think that the atonement has something to do with me. When I think I can somehow climb out the hole by myself and claw my way to the top...like He will meet me there but only if I am good enough. How erroneous on my part! He climbs into the hole and boosts me up out of it. I don't need to claw my way out...only let go and allow Him to change my heart which then changes my perspective and allows me to more freely love.

I have spent many hours pondering truths and falsehoods over the passed two weeks. I have thought deeply about what I believe and what I stand for and I have been asked really tough questions. I realized more about my weaknesses then I ever cared to know, but I also realized which of my beliefs are steady and which are precariously positioned on a sandy foundation.

What I discovered is what I already knew, out of all the relationships I have in the world, my greatest one is with my Savior. All the good that I can give comes from that one relationship. When I falter in that relationship, I falter in every relationship. Conversely, when I really love Him, I cannot help but love others around me...so if I am faltering in my relationship with someone here, I need to strengthen my relationship with Him.

My vision of myself is so much clearer when I remember how He sees me and what I am worth, again not because of my gifts or talents, but because I am part of the divine...justified through my Redeemer.

The peace that comes from this knowledge cannot be compared with any earthly, temporal feeling that comes through my body. It transcends the body and speaks without words to the part of me that can hear the truth regardless of what the outside world is whispering in my ear.

I am full of gratitude for my Savior and the love He has for me and for the lengths He was and is willing to go for me.

May I learn to be more like Him...