Gray Calling...

It is not the rain
I fear
but the cold.
It is not the bleeding
but the coagulation
and the cessation
of the pain.
Numbness
beckons me,
a seductive lover
promising
more than he can deliver.
But
the temptation
looms
largely in front of
my eyes
still wet with tears
that I tired of crying
weeks ago.
There are no tears
when you are
detached-
I could wear a wry smile
and look down
upon the mortals
who live
in the land
where waters run deep.
Perhaps
I will remember
feeling
or
perhaps
all will be erased.
I long
to close off
with the intensity
of someone
who lives stupidly
with emotion
in each
ungraceful breath.
Vivid colors
surround me,
I hurt,
bleed
and scream;
grayness calls,
offers
to envelop me
and lull me to sleep;
it seems harmless
and tranquil
to give up
and give in.
I could
be released
and cling to the nothingness
but
gray really isn't my color
so I stumble
and walk on...