Finished

I have Blackness in My heart It’s ruining my mascara And my self-perception It’s bringing Walls I’ve carefully Decorated Crashing down They disintegrate Into ashes I’m naked Flawed Not overflowing With anything But tears I kneel Beg to be forgiven He waits patiently For me to forgive It is finished On all sides He is waiting For me To awaken To the truth; It’s been finished Since before It began It was always His intention For me To stand Whole Reconciled To him

Irony

You were shut down and cold-
closed off to love
And yet I loved you
With a bright intensity
That struck me dumb
Time past
My flame only fanned a flicker in you
Which ebbed and flowed
At turns
Carving untraceable chasms
In my heart
And now I am shut down
And closed off to love…
What we do
And what we do not
affects another soul
sometimes as strangers
sometimes, lovers
Regardless of our intent
I guess I have the she before me to thank
For my cold heart…
It appears to be contagious.

Reflected

I thought for so long
You were encased by glass
But it was me
I was
Confused by the reflection
But now I see...

Loved

Do you hear me when I’m weeping Lord
When I feel so far away?
When I can’t name my trouble Lord
Beside me, do you stay?
Do you think of me as beautiful
Though my face is wet with tears
Do you see beyond the tattered mask
I feebly attempt to wear?
Do you know my heart, my Lord
And how very deep the pain?
How lost I get inside my head
How the fear within has stained?
Do you hold me gently as I fall
Lord, do you love me then too?
When I have hurt those I claim to love
Or been selfish, angry or untrue?
Lord, what about the many times
I come empty to your throne?
When all I have is NOT enough
And my faith and hope have flown?
Do you love me then Lord, anyway
When I am of no worth to you?
Will you pick me up and brush me off
And breathe life into me anew?
And the answer resounds
Through my heart like the balm
That has calmed the troubled sea
And the Lord wraps me up
In the arms of His love
All this He does for me
I can’t wait for the day
When I kneel at His feet
And thank Him for this priceless love
I could have been tossed and thrown away
But instead my heart’s healed from above
And tenderly He walks
Carrying my sorrow and pain
Holding my hand in His
And whispering my name…

You lay there
Broken and bleeding
Skin gray and cold
I watch from behind the glass
Your story left untold
You lay there
Battered and bruised
No skin untouched by pain
You lay there
Labored breathing
No sound when I call your name
I picked you up
And carried you
To the cross I went
I stumbled underneath the weight
Of all the sorrow spent
I couldn’t bear the thought
Of you traveling alone
I couldn’t bear the sound
Of your soul’s inward groan
I tried to take you to the doctor
The world says he can heal
The heart in need of mending
The remedy is real
But you wouldn’t open up the door
Or show up for the day
You wouldn’t leave the pain behind
You refused another way
Woven through this journey
I held your hand
Right through
And whispered prayers to the Master
Who wanted healing for you
He is who I cried to
When your burden, I couldn't keep
He is who comforted me
When your pain was too deep
And I lifted you
Day after day
Moment by moment at times
Begging for a release for you
And clarity of mind
I can’t imagine life
Without you close beside
But I can’t help you anymore
I have tried and tried and tried…

Unhappiness

I'm
Not
Sure
A life spent trying to feel better
Is of any more worth
Than a life spent accepting how badly one feels-
They are both focused on Self
And consequently
have the same ending-

Awakened

I woke up
This morning
And I'm still done
No longer capable
Of rising with the sun
And smiling past the tears
And listening to the fears
Of a man whose song is unsung
I woke up
This morning
And I'm still free
No longer tied to you
You're no longer tied to me
And I feel bad
And a bit sad
But mostly emptied
I woke up
This morning
Freed from the weight
That made my heart ache
And it seems that fate
Took what belongs to you
And absconded my view
And I feel great
I am awake!